awww OMG. i MISS MISS MISS PHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

this morning was like super hungrie and i realise that de school's canteen stores are not open! OMG. sad. anywayys, got this adopt-a-tree ceremony in my school? they earned $31000 just because a few people adopted a tree. omg. i also want! hehehe. TJ got 300 trees wor! incredible! i wonder who is de one who counted de number of trees. omg. kudos!

then had math test EARLY in de morning. destroy my pretty day! hehe. physics lecture was horrible. is it even a lecture in de first place -.- is like, i can't hear de craps which de lecturer is yacking, and i dun get it ! omg. but quite fun? hahaha.

then we dunno which room to report! argh! end up entered room 213 i think? got a super weird smell! cannot take it :X hehe. then mr lim came in and start talking about PW. OMG. my jaws nearly dropped. HAHAHA. he say our grp de report not bad wor! omg super happie! :D hehe. like all de sleepless nights are worth it man! hehe. nice nice! keep up de good work girls! :)

then got this concert celebration. OH MY GOD. music box is like, omg. gave me a shock of my life. that performer wear till like so revailing? i mean her legs lar :X plus is staff day somemore!!!! she dress till so inappropriate. was msging jiaming throughout and omg. we both agree that she is crazy. hahahaha. but her singing quite ok i must say, just that towards de end she a bit no more energy left. FREAKING TALL. and then, her legs are pretty :X hehehe. was like omg. mrs janice lim and mrs choy both talked to me over de phone and ahhh. i reallie feel like crying :( i reallie miss them lots lots and i reallie like, how i wish i can fly there immediately and give them a big HUG nerh :( omg. reallie wish that i could do that. but i can't :( i can't :(

then realease at 12, then de stupid guards no want to open de gate!!! what's de problem lar! just OPEN THAT FREAKING GATE since de whole event ended!! argh! me and minh trang was like, wait till super pissed off lor. :X then anywayys, met jiaming at de bus stop and then walked to bedok interchange to take taxi. si yuh say i zhong se qing you. WHERE GOT LOR! hehe.

then on taxi, was having a little catchup session with him! talking about TJ and PHS. so funnie! hehe. and he gave me lots of sweet. and then this is what happened:

i was like, OMG?!?!?! i didn't realise it's his bday! haha. EPIC lar! hehe. but wished him after that! just that nvr give him prezzie. then he say he dun reallie care about bday. hmmz. guys like dun reallie care? hahahaha.

anywayys, yup yup. then met janice, sharon at AMK HUB! omg. they thought i am a glutton! they ordered two lotus rice, 4 siew mais, 2 carrot cakes, 1 dumpling, a bit of noodles for me, one bowl of snow ice dessert and a cup of soya milk. and i only rmb telling janice that i want siew mai and dessert. ROFL!! super cute lar they all!! hehe. eat so much still i didnt eat dinner and i am still feeling full! :X hehe. then went to meet my clique's ppl at dessert house for a while to catch up and talk. but left kind of fast because me pei-ing janice and sharon to go for janice's dental appt. hehe. had lots of fun talking on de train and ahhh. i love this feeling :)

at de dental there, me and sharon was reading our tutorials. ( so that we feel less guilty about going out to play ) hehe. super funnie! then went to cityhall after janice came out from toilet! hehe.

brough a notebook for mr edwin and a highlighter for shize! super cute de! then janice was like, tempted by me to buy lots of stuff. hahahahaha. nice one! :D hehe. buy more buy more! hehehe. then went home and we continued chatting on de train. awww nice!!

today is like super freeaking unlucky? is like early in de morning, i took de train to school. ok, to be exact, 3 trains and one bus. hehe. is like, i missed two trains and i waited for freaking long? omg. and thats because my daddy's car broke down. oh god, you have no idea how much i miss my daddy's car. waking at such freaking hours of a day is a tragic! and what happened next is tragic x2!

when i reach TJ ( FINALLY) , i put my bags in de parade ground because i thought i will take quite long in de toilet so might as well leave my stuffs there first. is like, I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO RAIN. but i was thinking, maybe wun so unlucky ba? zzz. end up i walk halfway to toilet it started raining then i ran to get my bags and ran to de canteen and ahhhh. i am wet!!! ZZZ... and my hair looks like some crazy woman when i didn't tie it. omg T.T super unlucky.

anywayys, thats about it lor. during econs lecture, i super tired. omg. reallie tired. startd dozing but after awhile wake le. hehe. because some things are not on de notes so me need to copy down. keeps me awake! :D

hehe so that's about de rest of de day? like typical school day. nth much. sian sian de. apart from joking with my clique de ppl, that's pretty much de same. hehe. thenduring pw meeting. omg. disasterous. not reallie a disaster lar. we were having peaceful group discussion. AND WHY DIDN'T MR LIM TELL ME THAT I DUN NEED LAPPY TODAY, waste my effort. -.-

so we were discussing about oral presentation. like quite ok? even though got lots of clash in ideas but then like end up quite ok. but i reallie hate replies like anything, up to you. rofl! is like, even though wang mo suggested a voting, but i just decided to give in since like i dun think anyone agrees on my idea ? hehe. but ended up de final decision still like what i was saying ma. rofl. go one big fat round to realise de flaw. then one of them is like, very soft spoken then dun direct de qns to de group. so she direct to me only. but prob is, i only have one mouth and one brain. if she use a soft tone to speak to me, i can't possibly use a tone of 2 times her tone to make sure de grp heard us ma. end up it seemed like we two having our own mini discussion and de others are playing, and became my fault for having that mini discussion which was meant for de whole grp, that is, if they bother finding out what was happening. then after that gave attitude saying that they are waiting for me. hmm. okayys, my fault. if they are unhappy, they could have voice it out saying that why are they not in de discussion. end up everyone black face me then okayys, i learnt my lesson. whatever de rest say, i just ask them speak louder. zzz. so hard to please everyone. is like, her ideas are good cans! super detailed and okayys, she is a very meticulous person to start with. she shld speak louder so that de rest of de members can hear her ideas! and i just realised that we got de same wave length! just that de problems she surfaced just now, are de ones which i thought of long ago. and still existing. haha. sometimes de grp is too reserved. not daring enough. hmmz. well nvr mind :D if they feel safe that way, then we shall do it that way lor! no harm done :)

but de thing is that, all de members used to be de " brains " of their ex groups, so everyone is strong on their stand and dun like de idea of rejection. i dun like too. but sometimes if it reallie doesn't work, then just admit it. my ideas are not perfect. even some of de members' ideas are way better. but it's de problem with voicing out. haha. and not voicing it not loud enough for de rest to hear :X end up me being de bad guy and everyone hates me. haha. sometimes me keeping quiet could mean i am thinking of pw stuffs. it doesn't mean i am stoning and not caring about de meeting. it's just that, members shld be more proactive to raise up issues which i may not have thought off.

well anywayys, pw aside. after that went parkway to shop for tcher's prezzie!! omg. my bag super heavy can!! hehe. was like dragging it around and i think i am growing muscles! argh! if only my fats could disappear! i shld stop eating! :X just realised that tmr PHS ends at 10am, tchers leaving at 11!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!! why!!!! T.T i want to go back to see them!! i miss them a lot nerh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

there isn't much about today actually, come to think about it. super tired nerh!! ytd was like chiong math,chem and physics tutorial and omg. this morning totally CMI. si yuh came from front gate today so i went to toilet alone. haha. yawn. tired!

lectures are like telling me to go to sleep!!! OMG. then cherilynn say mr liaw taught de auto symbalo ppl to wear needles and stuff then i was like WHAT?!?!?!?! harh!!! i wasn't there ytd because i went NUS and then i didn't know anything abt de needles. oh crappps! die le lar!

hmmm. like that lor. hehe. nth much. GP was like -.- she said she wanted to do AQ. end up she did human resource. HELLO i rushed out that freaking AQ and then you nvr go through?! wasted my sleeping time. i could have slept earlier de nerh!!!! omg. freaking!

hmm. didn't talk to si yuh much today. omg. is she angry with me? or ahhh :( omg. hopefully not. sorry nerh si yuh! i dunno if i made you angry in one way or another, forgive me kays? :( sorry!

thanks for you all's concern! :) i am reallie fine now! :D was reallie emo last week but please dun run away from me kays? :) hehe. thanks !! :D :D :D

PE was kind of fun? :X apart from listening to mr sim's long speech which i though it would be nice if de whole PE lesson is him speaking :X hehe. anywayys, was suffering from some serious stomachache which i had no idea why i had it. hmmmmz. PAIN! and wang mo was saying that i never know de reason why i am always in pain. well true enough, i nvr know :) ran all de way to the 3rd bus stop away from my school and it's a good thing mr sim decided not to let us rup and down de LUCKY HILL estate. rofl! i will just rolll down and TA-DA! hehe. roll back to TJ! hehe. then mr sim was saying " PHS JIAYOU!" i was like omg omg!! de whole world knows i am from PHS. haha. i dun mind though :) even though TJ ppl has de perception that PHS is a gangster school O.o. hehe. do i look like one? :D si yuh say my running style changed. hmmm HOPEFULLY FOR DE BETTER! :D next year is de last year i am taking napha and i am going to make it de FIRST and the LAST time i pass NAPHA. not bad wor :D hehe.

anywayys, si yuh went to sick bay :( then econs lecture was like horribly boring. haha. anywayys, decided to pay attention during lecture and stop focusing on my phone :X hehe. hopefully that will make my promo grades look prettier :D hehe. econs tutorial was quite alright/ cheryl gave me 3 sweets and i finished it within1.5 hour. omg. desperate for sweets. hehe.

PW lecture was quite funnie? hehe. at least i didn't fell asleep :X i missed too much lectures on PW. each time i nvr come to school, they will be lecvturing on WR. and guess what, i missed ALL. haha. i wonder if mr lim will kill me for de horrible work. hmmmz. hopefully yes! hehe.

after that is PW and GP. hmms nth much i guess? pretty usual. no much exciting thing to talk abt. except during break that time jess they all were laughing at my " squeaky" voice. AM I A MOUSE?!?!? hehe. but quite funnie lar. hehe. imagine me with a freaking LOW voice. hehe. quite hard to imagine? hmmm.

decided to go home because i am just tooo tired. haha. wanted togo NUS. i guess i have to go on wednesday? haha. it's de last day of submission for that dumb dumb form. hehe. well, stress :X

enough of crying ba. i just find myself useless. and i just realise it ytd. haha. useless. de thing is that, i can choose to live and forget stuffs. but dun you get it? when it comes to your stuff, i dun want to forget them. because de person is you. is you. maybe you will feel unlucky ba? like " why must she rmb my stuff and make my life difficult? " haha. then i shall make you feel better by not caring your stuffs? haha. like how you treat things ba :) i will learn de. haha. it takes time for me to let go ba. haha. but i am kind of sad. you questioned me abt me not knowing that you feel stress and tired too. but de thing is that, i am not by your side. i can't see. but i can feel. thats why i always ask you if you are ok. but what's de reply i get? simply " nth. " , " ok arh" . sometimes i reallie doubt you know, is everything reallie ok? for de past 6 months, every is ok? and now you tell me you are stress? i dunno. i am a failure. i can't understand you. jeshua say i must understand you and cheer you up. but how am i able to do that? when all you tell me is nth? in what way can i cheer you up nerh? what can i do for you nerh? i thought i can help you with school work. yet your friends seems to be de better choice when it comes to discussing abt school work. maybe because you all have de same syllabus ba. i thought i can be there for you when you are stress. yet i can't, because i dunno whats going on. there is only one reason i can find for myself to stay by your side now. i find myself completely useless? haha. thats de last and strongest reason. dun make it disappear. please.

anywayys, these thoughts are in my mind when i am like totally drenched? and ytd too. oh gosh. my eyes are like, goldfish? zzz. hopefully my retina doesn't have a hold despite de high risk. i dun want to turn blind. if i reallie do, i might just end my life. haha.

chemistry lesson was reallie fun! haha. mr foo is super LAME. i mean reallie LAME! here is what happened:

Amar: can we do FRS on methyl benzene?

mr foo: you can!!

after a short puase ....

Mr foo: if you are god!

then he turned to de white board and drew methylbenzene and chlorine, then he shout to de board saying " hey! can i just have 1 clorine entering the benzene? "

rofl!! i see le i was like OMG ROFL?!?!?!?!?! haha. seriously cute nerh! anywayys, today freaking cold. today's chemistry lecture super funnie. totally not related to chemistry? haha. motivational talk by mr foo! hehe.

anywayys, that's abt it ba. hehe. guitar section is reallie fun!! hehe. learn to strum and play songs! omg. i love today's section! :D

haha uploaded some random pictures!!

see that TJC residential kitty? she is eating my BREAKFAST!! is like that day i am suppose to have napha retest, end up because this kitty eat my breakfast, and then de day before i didn't eat a single crap, i ended up having gastric pain and stitches while running my 2.4km. 19.57 min . GREAT I FAILED. congrats me!

oh ya! then found these pictures. htat day national day, me,joyce , yee ching and wang mo went to draw on de floor :X we intended to look for a teacher but found de floor more attractive so we just grab a few chalks and start drawing :X de "5" and " o" at de bottom is done by me!!! so proud of it :D hehehe.

today is a freaking tired day. well, wang mo is not here today. kind of envy her. hehe. can stay at home rest! hopefully her jaws are ok.

then PE that time was reallie fun! i was late for PE, with siyuh. i think that's because de tchers started early? so got to do 20 push ups. hehe. can hear joyce they all de voice from far far! hehe. then that mr sim, who is PHS mr sim's brother, say " must be that PHS de" super loud lor! made me shy shy. hehe. anywayys, we were learning de basics for volleyball. makes me miss PHS a lot. is like volleyball used to be phs's niche, so is like we used to learn volleyball? haha. makes me regret for not learing volleyball well when i was still in PHS. that ball hit my head twice. then my thumb was initially swollen, so end up bleed because de ball kept hitting it T.T pain ahhhh. partnered anna. hehe. she is super cute! haha. we were having fun throwing de balls! hehe. then i always end up shooting de ball over de wall. then de pe tcher just kep passing me a new ball. hehe. super fun!

went to physics lesson. well, i think mr lim super cute! he got that mischievious face you know! hehe. that's about it ba. hehe. during chem lecture, hung they all were talking super loud, then i think wm and wl like kind of pissed off? hmmm. dunno nerh.

super tired for de whole day, i guess is because ytd very late sleep thats why? haha. went to NUS today. before that, me and de other SRP students were in de HUB chionging our summarized report. then i msged wang lei to send me de slides. omg reallie got to thank him lots! without his slides, i wouldn't have been able to complete it. he is my second best mentor!!! first is ms nilar :D hehe. i miss her! wonder hows her life in canada. hmmm. wun have a chnace to meet her ever again i guess. :(

rushed all de way to NUS just to find that de prof is not in his office. ARGH. next week need to go NUS again. haish. then went to de central library to try to borrow books. but hmm, i guess i need to go to de science library, because here no have de books i need. there de toilet very huanted de feeling nerh!! scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 me dragged si ying with me. hehe.

then super quiet and big. me and si ying's ear couldn't take it. got that yiiiii sound. then she can hear my stomach growl growl. OMG SO EMBARASSING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehe.

that's about it ba!!

i am still holding on to the past! i still can't let go. i can't let go of my life in PHS. sometimes when i am in de lab, when i am in tutorials, memories and images of PHS ppl flash past my mind. i miss them. i miss you.

sometimes i reallie wish to cry out loud. because i didn't treasure de times with PHS. even if you ask me to go back to PHS now, de feeling isn't there anymore. because it's de ppl we are with, de times we had, de things we experienced that makes up de PHS i miss . it is not just de buildings, but de feelings. sometimes when i take de train past YCK station, or when i walk in de mrt station, i will think of de past. the times when i used to walk de same road everyday. de ppl whom i used to see for at least 8 hours a day. omg. i reallie miss those times. i can feel my tears forming, but they just refuse to leave my eyes. they form de beautiful memories which i will nvr ever want to forget.

i will nvr ever want to forget de first person i used to see every morning. de scent always filled up de surrounding air and makes me feel super happie ❤

but reality says that i am now in TJC. i like my class. but de feeling is just not that right. i can't be totally myself when i am in 0510. i dunno why nerh. sometimes is like, it just don't feel right. maybe like what janice said ba. i miss janice!

took train with anna today, finally there is someone to take de train with me, de last time it happened was de last day of school in sec 4? when bl sent me home. :)

school today is great i guess. just that i kept having stomachache and shoulderache and jeremy ELBOWED me. ARGH. PAIN!!!!!!!! spa was quite ok? hehe. mr lim is nice!!!! best physics tcher i ever had. hehe. ( ms lem is nice too. but she dun reallie teach i guess o.O )

celebrated si yuh's bday. hehe. i decorated de cake!! together with joyce yesterday! :) joyce is super cute when she decorates de cake. hehe.

i think that's all for today? got to get working now! hehe. omg. there is PE tmr!!! i guess i failed my napha? got to go for de conditioning class i guess? hope that it helps to reduce my fats. hehe.

you are de last thing