me second ball of strings going to be completed! HAHAHA. can move on to third ball ball and me will be done! YIPEE!!! but it's so boorrrriiinnnngggg to stay at home. omg. me rotting le lor. haha. woke up today because XF called me to ask about some " municipal" word meaning, hehe. kind of shock. haha.

watched tv and knitting. omg. my life is going at a super duper slow speed. haha. cannot take it. me want to go out to see see! hehe

knitting helps me to kill time though. is like these few days super duper bored, so might as well knit, haha. my brother want me to knit a hat for him, then i got to knit de christmas gift. busy busy. hehe. so got to knit like mad. haha

today was quite alright bah i guess, even though start of de day quite sad, but overall quite alright? hehe. went to kovan to get my teacher to help me continue with my ball ball. is like i knit till one ball of string being used up, so need to continue. got one aunty help me because de teacher super busy. hehe. so connected it then me left to buy duck home! hehe. ankles very pain nerh! my daddy say i sprained both ankles. rofl. seriously dunno how me walk. haha.

after that cheryl and her m0mmy came to my hse! haha. her mommy want buy new flat i think. hehe. cheryl super funny though. haha. my mommy and her mommy can reallie talk nerh. talk from de momment they step in, till we reach de carpark, till they left. omg. we stood in de carpark for quite long i guess. haha. my ankles super pain from standing lar! haha.

reached home and continue with knitting? haha. then went out to parkway parade with my parents to do some hsopping. my mommy bought bags. seriously she got lots of it le nerh. she is kind of obsessed with bags. haha. dunno how to control her. hehe. then i was staring at my brother's hand. his hand de hair very very long nerh. then de aunty laugh at me when my brother ask me to look at de bag instead of his hand. bleh. hehe. my mommy spent over 100 or smth, then can get 2 water bottle as a free gift? so i need to queue. then my brother was accompanying me. hehe. then i was telling him that my shoe broke then me want new one. then he say i shld buy a pair of shoe which do heavy duty!! AHHH!! ( meaning me heavy ?! omg. kill him! ) haha. but i cannot stop laughing after hearing that. hehe.

didn't really shop de whole mall because we spent too much time in that isetan to look at bags, so went home lor. hehe

WHEEE!!! prom night over le! hehe. before that me went to de salon, that aunty made my hair till super funny. hehe. i think de food overally quite yummy bah, haha. thanks janice and banglian! they all keep helping me to take food. hehe. so nice of them!

met hui shan on cab, then took de cab to cheryl's hse then to de captain king's hotel ? ( dunno how to spell). hehe. then helped her packed her gifts for 4H ppl. de guys in my class came so decided to go up with them because if sit in classes, i got to stick to them. haha. CS reached super early so she went to help de teachers. hehe. XF see le SUPER high lor. hehe. oh ya! thanks XF and DH for de cards! hehe.

overall i think quite funny lar. haha. dominic gave rachel a bunch of balloons and rose through mr toh, hehe. so cool lar! then lys was like there CMI-ing. haha. see their reaction super funny. then after that DH and rahul's clothes clash. hehe. both also coral blue. haha. DH looks quite nice in it. hehe. for once i find DH looks nice? bleh. haha. Mingz quite handsome too. but then his image will be spoilt de moment he start eating. rofl. hehe.

got a lot a lot of pretty girls nerh! cheryl phua, GH, rachel, WOE, janice, CS, annabelle, he jun! all so pretty nerh! haha.

i think de food not reallie very nice. haha. de mushroom a bit bitter nerh :X de fishy quite OK bah. but de eyes not like what i wanted. hehe. thanks BL! hehe, because he helped me take de best part of de fishy! YIPEE! then mingz was like ARGH! haha. bleh!

everything ended quite nice bah. haha. rachel ong got de prom queen! omg. pretty! i think bella very pretty too. too bad there can't have 2 prom queens. haha.

de whole night i was like, i dunno? tossing and turning? haha. i didn't fall into a deep sleep. is like, my mommy move a bit and i will wake le. haish. dunno why. so de whole night i was like, wake sleep wake sleep kind. wake le, less than 5 minutes will sleep back. i think like that is more tiring that being totally awake lor. haha.

after that get ready to go to kovan to eat de teo chew porridge. me love it! hehe. but today de uncle didn't clean properly de stomach, so a bit bitter bitter de. so me throw de stomach to my daddy :P then ate 2 fishy! me love fishy! hehe. my mommy went to buy vase while me and my brother went to our car and play lor. is like she will ask for discount till me and my brother CMI. haha. we were playing finger guessing. my brother totally cannot make it. he kept losing. lucky we didn't play forfeit. hehe. if not he sure die le. haha.

after that went to de car car there to take our car. me like! there's a window on top of de car, so can see stars stars moon moon clouds clouds! hehe. i was thinking, maybe we shld drive this car to watch metoer shower. but then again, haish. suan le. i doubt anything will work. went to my aunt's hse there. i dun want to go up because stopmachache, so me stayed in car lor. then my daddy refuse to on de air con, rofl. funny he. but i still choosed to stay inside lar, haha. tired mah. haha.

then my aunt followed us home to let my brother change to go CO. funny lar he. all de way he kept whining that his whole body pain so he dun want to go CO. this and that. hehe. totally whiner. haha. then went diarrhea lor. then my aunt say i laying eggs. bleh. hehe.

de car got a few scratches then my mommy was like kicking a big big fuss out of it. haish. cannot stand it. then she was like pressing me to call de hdb branch officer to transfer season parking stuff. ask her hold my touch for me then she pull my clothes to see if got pockets. omg. if have i dun need ask her take le mah. then she diao me. omg. cannot stand it. anywayys, just sad lor.

was raining so me took a photo through de window on top. haha. raining. so sad. haha. sometimes weather just affects my mood, or de other way round. everytime i sad, it will rain. then i happy, it wun rain. haha. i think de weather knows me de best bah :D or maybe it's just de way i look at things lor. rain seems to be particularly obvious when i am sad. haha.

janice they all went to CO to look at de juniors today. haha. envy them. they are able to go back with such a light heart. is like, me can't. i got that freaking instructor who can't wait to see me die, and a bunch of " friends" in GZ whom i totally dun like because they are so pretentious. if want to go back, think of them, i am like totally sian le lor. even though de juniors are nice, but me am not exactly close to them, so whether me got go or not, it doesn't make much difference too.

told my mommy that mrs choy told me say someone wrote to wan bao to complain about lls using nasty words against student. me kind of happy. hehe. so told her. and she want me to tell everyone that it's not me who wrote de letter. rofl. what's de problem with her? tell her that only and she start warning me. tell her say my friends jokingly say she will take off my jacket on prom night, and she want me to warn them not to do it. i mean, we were all joking about mah. must she take it so seriously? haish.

didn't go jurong point in de end. disappointed. reallie. everytime say want to go there, end up sure cannot go de. seriously sad. i give up le lor. next time if anyone say they want to go, i will just HAHA and not take it seiously until i really reach that place. it's not that i insist on going to jurong point. just that i suddenly reallie reallie want to go there. half a year ago janice, me, bl and leon agreed on going back again to make de cake de. but in de end left me rmb. haish. i guess i have to wait till zhu li to come back then we go? or maybe i shldn't put in too much hope. or maybe i shldn't take things so seriously too. haha...

seriously, suddenly everything is over you will have a kind of lost feeling. as in what to do and stuffs. i quite like de feeling though. haha. me had been busy for de past 3.75 years. it's time for me to take a break and look at de things around me. hehe.

zhu li is flying off today! so decided to send her off, since her bday present with me. met BL at yishun mrt at 620am. me was late. my mommy lor! she was like nagging and nagging because she finds it too early. rofl! is she slept late that's why wake early very tedious mah. hehe. went to de airport and saw zhu li! her grandma was like super friendly kind. see me le start hugging me

and bl. haha. we were like super shock. hehe. stunned to be exact. hehe. she was like looking at my fingers and start looking at my fingers. then she commented which part of my body not good and stuff. hehe. my body like kind of failing. but anyway, hehe. dun care. haha. then she read BL's finger. his one was quite alright. haha. then she hug me and hit hit my back. hehe. so fun! hehe.

after sending her off, me and Bl went to eat breakfast at burger king. omg. super full. me long long time no eat burger king breakfast le. haha. since primary 4? when i accidentally ate beef and vomited for a month. hehe. so walked around de 3 terminals of de airport. keep taking de skytrain. haha. de name sounded nice anywayys. hehe. then went to tampines there to shop a bit before meeting janice they all lor.

haha. met CS in Precious Thoughts. she was looking for a card for mrs choy or smth. recommended her a gift named " teacher's report book", i think it's quite cool lar! i was thinking if i should ask darren to chip in and we share one for mr edwin. haha. i think he might like? haha. after that janice came next. then we were watching " cruel temptation ", i think de show very nice lor! hehe. me feel like chionging dramas throughout de holidays. hehe. working seemed a bit too early to me, since in future, i will be walking for de rest of my life. hehe. me enjoy enjoy first. haha.

gloria was de latest, super cute lar her. then we went to swensons to eat. hehe. talk a while then mrs choy came lor. haha. after that mrs choy was like saying that she didn't know that i am a soup person. ( me ordered creamy mushroom soup), hehe. well, me having some severe stomachache mah. so drink soup is de best lor :)

after that we were like gossiping with mrs choy about some rumors and attitude of ppl and such. haha. is like since we all graduated, there isn't much things to keep from her too. haha. so we just said who we like and dislike lor. haha. towards de end, we played zhong ji mi ma to finish up de side dish and ice cream. hehe. me super duper lucky! because all 6 rounds me didn't get it. haha. then got one round all of them gang up against me nerh!!! so me no choice got to eat a scoop of ice cream. hehe. but me still lucky :D haha

played truth or dare. hehe. so funny lar. haha. talked about cockroaches and stuffs. rofl. hehe. mrs choy not colder than me. me was like quite lame throughout i think. hehe. then mrs choy need to go off to dunno where, then de rest go off to gloria's farewell dinner lor. haha.

on my way back, quite a lot of things happened lar. but what pissed me off is hendry forwarded an sms from de e regarding unable to make it for de dinner. i guess i over reacted? haha. me all along dun like trio de mah, so maybe because of that, anyth

ing regarding them seemed extra troublesome. but then reallie nerh, i hate them. rofl. wanted to inform us that they not having dinner, yet dun want to inform me. didn't i make it clear that PLEASE INFORM PEILING at de end of de msg. are they blind or what? and the way they sms, omg. i think my reaction wun be so big if previously me didn't complain to mrs choy abt them. haha. then de feelings came back. haha.

after that go home lor. nth much, since my mother want me to come home and eat.

even though o lvl is about to end ( 2 more papers left), this 2 months i had been like, living in hell? haha. is not like i mugged a lot too. seriously i reallie very slack. even my father thought my o lvl was over even though it haven't started. haha. but then, my couzzie kept coming over to my hse to study. is not i no like or smth, but because i teach him till very late, he changed my biological clock till i need to wait till about 1-3 am then i can sleep.

is like i tell him countless of times that DO NOT SLEEP LATE. one reason is i scared that he will end up being tired in de day, another reason is that i dun want my own brain to shift its clock. before he come, me is HAVE TO SLEEP AT 11 pm kind.now that he is gone, i can't sleep till 3am. i know he didn't mean it one lar, but i just felt pissed off. why didn't my mother protect me.

ppl around me keep saying, " why you want to help him? " , " can you dun help him", " can you stop helping him? " , " you O lvl more impt to you or his O lvl more important to you?" kind of stuffs. actually, i need more answers compared to qns. de answer to stop my problems seemed to be i stop teaching him. but problem is, it's not lor. my mother just agree to it. even though my aunt says that i also need time to rest and study, my mother's reply was " aiya never mind one lar. "

i was like, HELLO, is it my body or your body? his qns are like spam kind lar. i think i helped him through his whole TYS when i didn't even touch mine? haha. 3 weeks before exam and i need to help him with his amath, emath and chemistry. seriously, i am not god or some legendary teacher. i understand that they helped me celebrate my birthday when i was young and they are my relatives and that they wouldn't come find me if they weren't desperate for help. and i am willing to help too. but the thing is that, why didn't she help me stop him from spamming me at 1am at night? seriously if her attitude towards me was better, i wouldn't mind teaching him till morning. i just need her to say, " you can handle ma? cannot handle then i tell him come once a week" or smth like that. instead of " you see for yourself whether you want him to come. then you go tell him". i mean, what kind of attitude is that lar! as if my stuff doesn't concern her.

plus i see him i very stress, seriously. everytime he will start to count down as though it's like end of de world kind. plus his tone was like very anxious. i will help him de. it's not like i got de heart to jian si bu jiu. please lar, i dun even dare to kill an ant ( because it's too creepy. so many legs -.- ) , what makes you think that i wouldn't help him.

but i got some problems with him though. why must me always go till so late? i know he is used to it le, but i had told him many many times, dun study till so late, your body wun have sufficient energy to supply your brain to think. now nerh? not only you can't sleep, i can't sleep too.

that day before his science practical, his sms and calls woke me up. end up i can't sleep and i cried throughout de night. then my mommy come and scold me say i am so unlucky. shift new hse cry cry cry. why do i keep crying. so useless. all this stuffs. HELLO, do i look like i want to cry. please lar, i dun even want her to find out that i was crying. she was like coming into my room to ask me who is my gor gor ( is actually a friend of mine whom i call him gor gor for FUN) , then she come and scold me say i got to know some gangster friend or smth. please lar, why is she always like that. then i tell her say, " please lar, de real problem is in your ah boy gor gor ( that's how i call my cousin) " i can't sleep because i was woken up 3 times by him. instead of helping me to sleep, she is making my mood worse. what's de problem with her lar? other ppl's o lvl more impt that her daughter's o lvl?

plus i recieved pressure from my friends and teacher saying that why dun i just stop teaching and go to sleep. put yourself in my shoe and think. if i can do that, i would have done that long ago. i wouldn't have come telling you all these in de first place, isn't it? haish.

that's not all. i got a few times dream of him in my dream. is like, de moment i saw him in my dream, i start running in my dream lar. running away. then i tell my mommy about it, she say i was being heartless. then i was like thinking, you are de one being cruel to me lar. i ran away in my dreams what, also not run away from him in reality. in what way am i cruel? he invaded my dreams and i run away, did i do anything wrong? totally phobia le lar. and there you are saying that i heartless. if i heartless, i wouldn't sacrifice my time and energy on him. no way.

and his table manners was totally. i cannot take it. dun feel like mentioning it. i am not blaming my cousin for all these. he didn't want it to. what i am blaming is why my mother attitude me. that's what i am unhappy about. i am not unhappy about my cousin or my aunt. i know that they didn't want to disturb me too. so dun misunderstand.

but then again, what's de point of saying all these now? what's done cannot be undone. even if i am angry, i couldn't change any fact now. some things are just not within my control. all i can do now is to pray hard that my result is good enough for me to enter a at least reasonable college. seriously. if not, i wouldn't know what i will do. maybe i will start hating whoever caused it. maybe i will start blaming myself for not studying hard enough. afterall, it's my o lvl. not anyone's else.