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♔ Friday, April 17, 2009
8:01 PM |
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3 more days to SYF!!!!!
haha.. syf.. hmmm.. from the past two days, i am really vexed by SYF stuff, cried over it. hmmm, crying over it is pointless lar, really, and to think i did it 3 times. haha.. i think it's just a way to release stress? i dunno, there isn't anything about it i can be stressed about. compared to the amount of stress eileen is facing, i dun think mine means anything. haha.. i have got lots of opinions about all the SYF things they have discussed, but i didn't voice out any. is like, no point voicing out loud because i know there are strong decision makers in the group whereby they already had their decision in their mind, so there is really no way
I can change it. my opinion towards many things changed, and i think i myself changed a lot. as in, lesser of smiling, and my body is starting to protest anywayys. take yesterday for example, my ankles are giving me the most problem. BOTH ankles are like in great pain and EVERY single steps i took are miserable. i used to depend on de other leg when one is in pain, now i got to step really hard on both. come to think about it, chinese lesson is the only lesson i can really laugh out loud and laugh for like minutes like that? haha.. mr huang is ever lame, dh and tm always have lots of funny comments. haha.. the rest of the lessons are just normal lor. normal.
the thing is that, i am tired too. tired of lots of things, tired of waiting too. waiting for weeks for smth which i know there will not be an good ending, and after having lunch, decided to stop waiting, so today's lunch was a really impactful one, and it really freed me from a lot a lot of things! haha.. waiting is something which is too too too tiring for me le.. maybe that explains why i got tired really recently starting from beginning of the year?i didn't tell all these to my parents anything about school stuff i guess, didn't get their opinions, nor to let them solve it for me, because i told them quite a few times about gz stuff and everthing, but the thing is that, they dun really bother much or in the least tried to consol me, to make me feel better, and i am the kind of person who is like, if i tell you anything which upsets me, i will want you to sort of like hear me out, so if you reject me for like 3 times, the next time i wouldn't talk to you about anything, because i know you won't be bothered. called janice yesterday while i was on my way home, 7.15pm i think..had a really great talk to her, as in i really let myself out and showed her my "wound", so that she can help me to treat it. thanks janice for =) i think i kind of gave the people at the bus stop a shock, suddenly break down and everything. haha.. sorry people! hehe.. i think i am just being too much le bah? haha.. over-reacting? i dunno. those words just splits me apart lor..and it's really scary, as in, a lot of things. i got lots of things to say but i just couldn't get them out lar!!! argh. haish.
today was kind of like one of the most horrible day i had? haha. woke up at 3am plus at night to vomit, gave my mom a shock because the things i vomited out is kind of red. haha.. then she thought is blood or something. haha.. but i was having a hard time struggling in the toilet. in the end decided to go to school. haha.. before morning assembly i was talking to zhu li, zhu li was talking about her own stuff but then i dunno why i started crying. argh! i hate myself. lalala.. haha.. but after that i felt very happy! hehe.. as in it was a kind of relief to me lar, so yup yup. once in a while like that quite alright lar. haha.. recess time was funny!!! xD haha.. dh was doing his emath in the classroom, WOW. so yong gong lar. haha.. then played the dong ci tempo ready go! haha.. so funny lar! haha.. then math lesson was boring. haha.. even though me love maths, but i no like de teacher, so too bad! haha.. assembly was like hmmm, happy sleeping? haha.. kept dozing off.. CMI CMI. chinese lesson was like having this naming the chinese names of MRT station. but what's that got to do with O LVLS??!!!
after chinese rememdial, me,janice,dh,tm,xf, kr went to the market to eat.. haha.. on my way, met wen min, she told me that she is going for gz. then i was like, huh? i thought cancelled? she said ya but she want to go. so i was like, hmmm... can someone tell me what's going on here? went to market and saw claudia, she said she going gz. then i was like, ooo..so weird.. there is or there isn't gz? haha.. puzzled for a while, then i just, haish. went to the bakery behind the market with they all. is like my first time going there lar! i never knew that there is this antique bakery shop. haha.. i enjoyed walking there with them and commenting on even the lamest stuff you can find. as in, screaming at a rat and having they all comment. haha.. very relaxing and funny! haha.. it's been a long time i ever felt that le bah.. haha.. thanks xf for the philosophy too! haha... then is like, after today's lunch, i went home. then got chased by one ultra big butterfly, bigger than my palm!!! i was like screamed and started sprinting back home?! must i do this EVERYDAY!! so lame lar! haha... as in me lame. hehe.. had a really good afternoon nap. is like, because i had sorted out my thinkings, so i am like automatically in a very good mood. hehe.. there are things which i can't change, i regard you as a friend who is really important and trustworthy, and yet when i tried to turn to you, the respond you gave me was like, disappointing.
i thought you are someone special, but you are not.decided not to get angry over anything, because
every moment spent on being angry equals to having less time to smile. haha.. so OKAYYS! everything will be ALRIGHT! =)
