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♔ Friday, December 21, 2007
11:54 PM |
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went to bring my brother to PHS today...he entered my school!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!haha....his form teacher is miss teng...1 grace next year...then today relieve is mrs lim then she recognise me...haha...he so cute lor...everythng also dunno...haha....then went to buy his books and evertyhing...MY BROTHER 150CM??????? then i 160 le wor...haha...jkjk...he ...saw janice and xiao feng...janice bringing her cousin to our school for registration...
then reach home immediately go practise gz because later got gz...as in i go for half an hour only..haix....the timing for GZ always last min say then cannot push this away also...then hui shan keep saying dunno get scolded or something then i was like very fan by it...i cannot push it away mah...what can i do?scold jiu scold lor...last resort quit lor? haha...then i was telling my mum i maybe won't quit because gu zheng (instrument) very nice...then my mum was saying ok...haha...then quiickly change to PE then rush to school....then on bus very worried...plus stomachache...haha...dun care le lor...reach school, practise for a while teacher came...then told her about it..then she REN...then never scold YET...then ask me play that time my Csharp and C flat never press properly...HAHA...then she EXPLODED!!!! aplause please!!! faint..i crazy le bah...she say i press sometimes to high( gu zheng not like piano, every keys also have, so need to press strings)...then i was like ok...then she say why go do what volunteery work..then i say old folks' home ( i lied? i didn't even know i lied because yesterday yu zhen told me was old folks' home then turns out to be pasting the car decels on taxi drivers cars to promote Youth Olympic 2010)-.-...then she say why cannot push away, then i say long ago set le then cannot push away...yesterday at first have but pushed it away because i got something to do...then she asked what, then i said "looking for coffee beans"...another lie...i was resting at home and doing some catching up with the holidays...SHE JUST DOESN"T KNOW HOW BUSY I AM...FULLSTOP.
then i told her i helped out the cafe(continued of my lie because no choice cannot tell her i resting at home, she will kill me man)...then she say i so "helpful hor"...help friends can give up on GZ practise and blah blah blah CRAP! i helpful need her to approve meh? i want help who i help who cannot is it? you help me help is it? i find doing volunteery work more meaningful then staying in the room playing gu zheng cannot har? need your approval?? i wanted to say all this then i didn't...haha...not because don't dare, but don't want..I WANT TO LEAVE!!! is like 02.00 le i need to leave so leave the arguements till she explode next time...then she was saying why i didn't tell her the last time she set the time, then i said i didn't thought of it...then she say this whole week only 1 activity how can i forget...then i was so shocked by her remarks till i forgot that this week my schedule was packed thats why i forgot...WHAT THE...i should have shot her back saying i was busy as a bee...WASTED...want to cry at that time...then i didn't know it was this friday...till after last lesson ended, then she rushed to reincarnation like that off to dunno where then cannot find her...i even ask someone where lin lao shi go then she say she went back le... then lin lao shi say i full of excuses...WHAT THE....EXCUSES THEN EXCUSES lor...whatever....is not like i canot use these excuses...HAHA
she say "this week only 1 old folks' home activity how can you forget? did you want to skip this lesson and use it as an excuse? PEI LING, you not interested in GZ practise you can stop coming. "
number 1: this line "this week only 1 old folks' home activity how can you forget?" ....she thinks everyone as free as she thinks har? she thinks the world only revolve around her? she thinks she is the sun? i think she is just a dust on EARTH! block some UV rays yet pollutes the air... dust can do harm and brings good...yet doesn't serve a big job in the universe...if she thinks that i am free the whole week, shopping all day long, then she IS DEFINITELY WRONG! kf i am free like she thinks then i wouldn't be who i am today.
number 2 : this line"did you want to skip this lesson and use it as an excuse? " WHAT THE????? you think i so despicable har? use voluntary work as an excuse?? i find doing voluntary work more meaning, cannot is it? is it my life or your life? i know its for my good to come for practise, thats why when i skip lessons you angry, plus i not as good as others compared to the skills of playing...but why would i want to skip lesson?? even if want, its because of YOU!! its stress from you! not from others!!! you had no idea how much i like gz friends and the instrument... even if want skip i got a better excuse...my leg vein swollen. its true..today suppose to go to the doctor, then cannot go anywhere but i still go for GZ after asking my mum for one night to let me go , just because of you...YOU MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE AND YOU JUST DON"T KNOW IT...do i look like a bad student to you?? you say i skip most of the lessons counting from last year till this year...LET ME DO THE COUNTING...MY MATHEMATICS IS DEFINITELY BETTER THAN YOURS.
last year, every monday went off earlier because got tuition...I TOLD YOU DE.....got once sick, then got tuition clash...if have somemore, i got no idea....ok, lets count it 5 total lesson missed, including hongkong trip...then this year, went off earlier for the first month of 2007, got tuition, QUIT TUITION BECAUSE YOU SAID IT CLASH WITH GZ...YOU! then my mother tongue grades drop till like siao...don't feel like mentioning it..I HATE IT...then everyday got GZ...lets say i 2 days sick because this year i keep falling sick..HAHA...SYF...GZ EVERYDAY, I EVERYDAY ALSO COME....EVERYDAY GO HOME TIRED AND WHATEVER...reached home at 8.30...you happy? i'm not. saturday came to school..push off all appointments with friends, new tuitions and everything...left only english tuition...I SHOULD BE GLAD THAT I SCORED As for the subjects...huai pin could not come everyday because she got parents letter....in this case she should have more absents than me -.- ...isn't it? maybe because i played lousily then you hate my name more then you say everytime you hear me never come you angry? cannot be you miss me what? faint...november holidays first 2 weeks cannot come because got SINO...i told hui shan and huai pin already...i suppose YOU KNOW...MY FAULT??? NO! then came back, next day went straight for gz...you know how tired i am? i going to break down soon...plus projects..its good thing project time is fun! and beneficial....then they went to japan i came back and wasted 4 hours in school...there goes my day...i no take grading, stay in school playing the wrong thing over, whats the point? you see any? i don't. the day they came back i never go gz lesson...why? i tired...SICK... then my friends all say GZ no life...true what...you know how much i drifted away from my sec 1 friends because gatherings i can't go? i can't go for teahcers' day primary school gathering, not his no that...I HATE IT!!!everytime say i cannot make it then my friends will say "gz again?"...they ask till don't want to ask le and i answer till like i want to cry le...
then last thursday my tuition teacher dad dead, postponed the lesson till last thurs, so cannot come gz...my fault? or his dad's fault? no right? why de hell did you yack about it for? then today is voluntary work...you got no rights to stop me, and i got no control over your gap. HAIX...
number 3: this line "PEI LING, you not interested in GZ practise you can stop coming. " the most cruel yet let me happy de sentnce..number 1, my name...SHE FINALLY CALLED MY NAME CORRECTLY AFTER BEING HER STUDENT FOR 2 YEARS.....finally without any mistakes..i always take teachers calling my name for granted, now i don't. because a teacher who calls your name correctly for the first time touches your heart...you might not experience it, but i do and i am so happy, even though she hasn't be good and this 2 words had made me so happy, despite the next line asking me to quit....on the surface, it seems that i got what i wanted, to quit...but a teacher to tell you to get lost is a very cruel thing...you try getting chased out opf your CCA by the teacher...it is not nice...then she asked everybody to play except for me...ok lor...my heart is bleeding..lalala...holding my tears then hui shan ask me if i can push it back..SERIOUSLY HUI SHAN, no offence, i really want to say , take my life, i won't push it back, i don't see any point of staying down there to see her face....not even for 1 second. she wants everyone to be there i know, but it is selfish of me to cause everyone to come early, besides, with/without me doesn't make any difference...haha
1 drop of tear dropped when i packing my bag inside the storeroom...haha...1 only...i remembered last time in pri 6, i was practising for my last performance, my teacher said got 1 part i played very lousily and wants to see improve the next day, that night, i played till fingers got blisters and keep ccrying because i can't get it right, cry not because of pain or anger, but because i cannot please my teacher, to fulfil her last assignment for me...she is so nice, just like a very close friend...the next day, i managed to got it right, she gave me a smile and said "great improvement , pei ling"...OMG....i was so happy then, then i want to cry le lor...you had no idea how happy i was...haha...i don't think i will feel the same for lin lao shi...i respect her and never call her byu her name lin zhong, still call her lao shi....she should be glad...i amk very satisfied,now that she will never forget me...haha...then left gz room, saying bye and thank you...THANK YOU??? despite all the scoldings? haha...all this "acts of respect" might not come from ones heart...take my guitar teacher(miss karen) for example...we don't greet her, but we show her respect in another form...as a friend... we joked with her, ask for a treat and she argreed, in exchange for us playing once correctly...we practised 5 hours every friday and i never complained...GZ leh? every lesson i complained...can you see the contrast? respect is not all about showing, it comes in forms and yet you can feel it....lin lao shi doesn't understand...but i still respect her anyway, because she did thought me a lot of things..not only gz...haha...leave the WORST part to the LAST, she ask me to "go, go , go", skaing her hands at me asking me to shoo of...you think i your dog? even if i your dog i more loyal than you, more intelligent...you think you always shoot your mouth off and scold people so we have to understand and accomadate you? who you think you are? why make tens of your students to stand your temper? why can't you 1 person change? why cause misery to others? no wonder you still single ( sorry for this rude remark but i very angry now)
after that on the train...trying to recall what she said, yet i couldn't....i wasn't paying much to what she said...haha....those lines which i typed just now was what i remembered when i looked at her face while she was talking...then i didn't pay much attention to her when she talked about others...but i know its best i don't remember, it wouldn't do me good anyway...haha....couldn't cry too....i was sad...really sad...but tears just won't drop down....haix...thats why people say cry le you will feel better, with a the feelings stuck there, the feeling is horrible....
then met kayboon, li huan they all for the car decels...haha....had so much fun!! got 1 uncle very cute, he asked if i can paste cash on his window...some asked for ang baos, some said yes and very ON some just say no..haha...so cute lor...got 1 aunty very sweet...she lets me go into her car and paste and ask for 1 for her husband...so sweet of her...then the press got come..haha...got fm95.8, straits times , zao bao and still have but dunno le...then they take pictures then they record what i said...AHHH...li huan...haha....then 100 gone within 55 mins...FAST! should bring more...haha...then went to meet cheryl and SY at TPY mac there....ate there...so fuN!!! talked about gz...felt as though i just cried like that, but i never...no idea why...still joked with them and i was thinking, am i crazy? haha...perfectly normal =) then shopped for some remaining presents and then went home...haha...coughing away...sick le i suppose...haha
i quitting gz for sure le..since the teacher say so too =X...haha...but i do hope the gz members won't get angry at me because i quit, because friends don't break because of 1 CCA ...it worths more than 1 CCA...friendships doesn't stop even after death...haha...
