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♔ Monday, August 20, 2007
8:51 PM |
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yesterday night is when my instint kicks in...judging at the way li huan type the first letter, i know something is not right...it proved me correct by the first step she took in PHS, and the rest of the day...i have been reflecting today for the whole day, but i was thinking very hard...is it because friday we went to play then never call lh they all? but lh and zl was like everytime they always walk slow slow, so i was thinking maybe they were just behind us thats why i never see them coming to the game section...but is like, everyone go to the games there at the same time, so why didn't they notice it? so is my fault that i never call them then i am really sorry...or is it other cause which cause the silent coldness in her or what? zl is like asking me to reflect upon myself..i hate it when people ask you to face 4 walls and reflect without telling you what is wrong...you never learn like that...thats why olden times people are stubbon and zero brains because they always face white walls without knowing the reason...is doesn't help you to learn...
anyway, what i believe in is that you tell what is wrong with that person, that person will learn...because they get different points of views about oneself then will change...but if that person starts to give excuse to prove that you are wrong about him/ her, then you had better dun tell that person anything, because that person will hate you...haha...so must learn to accept bad comments, i love bad comments, they helps me grow...
if not what are friends for? friends are there to help you change, not get angry over things and never tells you whats wrong and expect you to know it...like me, if you never tell me whats wrong with my attittude or behaviour or anything that displeases you, i won't know...and i will continue that mistake and continue makes you angry, you are going to hate me even worse, not like me...i dun understand anything now, because they dun allow me to...if they keep whispering among themselves and not letting me know, i will NEVER know...understand?? try keeping something from me and you will realise that you are hating me more and more...not only me, you try on anyone else, the result will happen too...
this is what i reflected today and i still dun understand...sometimes when you seems to understand a lot of things, in actual fact, you understand nothing..ever heard that your enemy understands you more than your friend?? when you turn your enemy into your friend, you will find out that they actually know a lot about you...more than you know yourself..
maybe because i ignore li huan question? i am sort of weird nowadays...like cannot control myself...or losing memories...i can remember things one second, next second i totally forgot, like i am not there like that...get it...so is like, i am really sorry...i might appear to be nochalent about it, but deep down, i know everything...most of the time is my attitude..r.ecntly i just cannot control myself...for any reasons...dunno how to explain..if li huan is angry at the thing which i was thinking, then i am sorry...because most of the time things just slipped out of my mind...i looks like laughing, but it subpresses my depress, you can't expect me to come crying to school right? like what mr tan says...everyone has attitude, they won't change with out your help, undertsand?
